power out

the power just went out in our entire house. while trying to find my phone, i spilled a bottle of wine on it.

UPDATE: the power's out on our whole block. i still havent found a flashlight. i'm going to a bar.

externalization

i have a harddrive that is split up internally, where one portion i keep as an exact backup of my computer, and the other is for extra storage. today i wanted to back up my computer, and so erased the old backup data, and then used copy program to move my entire computer over to the drive. There's an option when you copy, which is to delete anything that's on the backup drive if it isn't also on the original drive. If you uncheck it, the program won't delete anything, will just copy stuff over. For some reason I checked it, despite having just erased everything already. Then for some reason I told it copy to the half where I keep the extra storage. I realized this mistake about 1.5 hours into the copy, which was also 10 seconds before a message popped up saying "Copy Successful." I now have a drive that is my exact computer on one half and absolutely nothing on the other.

sharpie

last night i came home late and drunkenly spread the bedspread over my bed, not realizing there was a sharpie there. this morning i woke up to find the sharpie had exploded onto the mattress and the sheets. i'm pretty sure it was my fault, because i also am now sporting a large, africa-shaped stain on my midsection.

bug spray

i sprayed bug spray directly into my eye. i have no idea where i was trying to aim, because it went directly into my eye.

crash

i got in a car crash today. that's not the mistake (lady did not slow for traffic one bit), but in the process i did drop my phone directly in my iced coffee. now a button won't work, and since i have an iphone, that's half of the thing's functionality.

also while i haven't reported them, i have made dozens of mistakes in the past couple months. like two days ago i accidentally dropped my glasses and they got ran over by a 25-foot uhaul (which I had just helped load). the glasses were about two weeks old. ironic bonus: i bought them specifically because they were made of that flexible metal shit. while nasa may have invented it, it doesn't stand up to a couple tons of raw diesel.

oh also awhile back i shattered the glass pane of my oven with a BB. i was aiming for a roll of toilet paper sitting on the floor in the next room.

oh and before that i peed on the cat.

irish whiskey, in two parts

earlier today i was leaving the house and chugged what i thought was the last of my coffee, but was in fact the last of my whiskey from the night before.

just now i was leaving the house and chugged what i thought was the last of my whiskey, but was in fact the last of my coffee from this morning.

i cannot say either was an unpleasant surprise.

irresponsible car owner

a couple nights ago i drove home around 4 am and got in my car the next day to find that the passenger window was completely rolled down; i don't think i even had a passenger.

also it reminded of a mistake i made a couple months ago, which may the crowning mistake of my life. i drove to meet up with a friend at noon, and parked in front of his work which was on a wide, highly-trafficked street that serves as the border between the almost-literal ghetto and the recently-gentrified yuppie part of town. lots of tension and lots of crime. this is the street where i once was punched in the face for no reason.

so i hang out with my friend for a couple hours and come back to my car and can't find my key. i breathe a sigh of a uncomfortable relief when i realize the door is unlocked, and then i breathe something i've never breathed before when i realize the key is still in the ignition, and the car had been running, for two hours, on a very busy street, in a neighborhood that has nightly car thefts.

later my friend informed me that i was still drunk from the night before.