crash

i got in a car crash today. that's not the mistake (lady did not slow for traffic one bit), but in the process i did drop my phone directly in my iced coffee. now a button won't work, and since i have an iphone, that's half of the thing's functionality.

also while i haven't reported them, i have made dozens of mistakes in the past couple months. like two days ago i accidentally dropped my glasses and they got ran over by a 25-foot uhaul (which I had just helped load). the glasses were about two weeks old. ironic bonus: i bought them specifically because they were made of that flexible metal shit. while nasa may have invented it, it doesn't stand up to a couple tons of raw diesel.

oh also awhile back i shattered the glass pane of my oven with a BB. i was aiming for a roll of toilet paper sitting on the floor in the next room.

oh and before that i peed on the cat.